I've had a bit of a struggle with art lately. Well.. when I don't? I once thought I had my drawing/painting motivation back but it only lasted like a couple of days or something like that. And now the lack of motivation has taken over photography as well. I never really feel like going out and I've been thinking maybe it's because "there's nothing new in this area". I've seen that old forest of ours so many times and I'm not saying it's not beautiful or anything like that but I'm just craving for something new and different. Maybe even out of this whole town even though there would be a lot to see inside the town if I just went to look out for new places, forests I've never been to etc. But going out in itself feels like such a task and I must say I'm also a bit scared going anywhere alone nowadays and I guess it's because I spent so much time on my own in my room at home that it becomes more and more difficult and I don't know how to get over all that.
Even if I went out and took a few photos, I'm never satisfied. And I know it takes a lot of practice and you can't learn if you don't do and all that. But it still doesn't seem to motivate me to do more, it more like makes me want to put my camera to the cupboard and that's the problem. I don't know how to get rid of this feeling, how do I get motivation I just don't know.
And when I'm not satisfied with the photo itself, how could I be satisfied with the editing? I pretty much can't. I asked my best friend to show me a few things on photoshop when we were at their place in England, and she was happy to show and teach me some things and that was really nice! But we're using different photoshops and I can't really remember the things she showed me because of course they're different in her photoshop even if the basics are quite the same. And here we come to another problem. I don't have enough motivation to concentrate on learning to use photoshop properly. It's just almost like a big blur to me. Sometimes I open it and try things but I don't think that's really the way I learn things - "by just trying". I lose my focus right away..
Hhhh, such a moaning journal. ._. I'm sorry about that I just felt like writing and telling about the struggle and why I haven't posted much. Maybe I'll figure a way out of this at some point, I hope. Because I love my camera of course and I really want to do something about this, I don't like things being like this and feeling like this. I just need to figure out how to get my motivation back and all.